We touch the exalted every day. We are surrounded by the ecstatic universe, the mesmerizing brilliance of existence is right here, right now. But we fail to see it and think we have to search for it. It is an ironic thing, the search. For it is a truth that nothing is actually found except what was always here. I know for myself I was never searching, I had no idea in the mid 90’s what I was doing in that sense. I knew I was unhappy and angry, but I had none of the awareness many have today.
I just responded to an instinct, and the mysterious path led me to the wild world of ceremony, ritual, storytelling and radical transformation. I jumped into the fire fully and never got out. It was a stripping away, not a searching for. It woke something up in me that I never knew was asleep.
But it didn’t stop there. It then led to huge amounts of body work for emotional release, and to rebirthing for emotional release, and primal therapy for more of the same. It is extraordinary to me now to remember what I did.
And then I got sick as I released all that was buried deep in the physical body. But that, my friends, is a story I will save for another day. The point I am making is that it took time for the false, the veil, the coat, to fall to the ground. I didn’t search for it. I removed what veiled it and have lived, as best I can, from what remained..emptiness.
Thanks for indulging my words. Here are some poems.
The garden of eden is in your heart You leave it with each carried grievance With every attack and judgment You heal it with love's acceptance And the resolve to be honest, kind and humble. There is no garden outside. ---------------------- Fear is an energy Whose existence is dependent On making us believe That love has an opposite. --------------------- This breaking open You are so scared of To the divine Is beautiful Every diamond Carries a flaw That’s what makes it unique. ----------------------- Those who can sit in the wreckage And still lovingly see the tiny flower Poking its exalted head through the cracks Have mastered all existence can throw at them. ------------------------- The sincerity of the search Is what really matters When desire for truth Or the longing for liberation Is so strong There is nothing we will not face Including everything we believe And all our wounds Transformation happens As if by itself. ------------------------- Nobility of being Is the art of holding suffering One’s own and others With dignity Without indulging the story Yet without coldness or denial It is, in many ways, a lost art We would benefit greatly from at this time. --------------------------- The light will find its own way Through the cracks in your defenses And the stiffness of your psyche All you have to do is put down the resistance, And stop fighting with yourself. ----------------------------- I saw a crack in the veil There was a light shining through Like a million suns Inside that light I saw a beauty I had never seen I followed that incandescent beauty Until it dissolved into me And I into it. ---------------------------- And if I fall Let my falling be glorious And full of beauty There is a nobility That has nothing to do with action And everything to do with being. ------------------------------ Some of the greatest breakthroughs of my life Have happened at the lowest points Never underestimate crisis As a catalyst for transformation But these opportunities are fragile And can be easily missed Or deemed to be a problem We need to push aside.
I feel holding suffering without indulging the story yet without coldness or denial is a beautiful way to express how to be both human and divine in response to the pain and tragedy of the world
Thanks Kavi.