THE BODY TEACHER

In many ways my experience of illness all those years ago was my greatest teacher. It did something to me viscerally that could only happen through the body. It brought me face to face with my impermanence. Not as a philosophy but as a reality.

It also forced me to look deeply into what emotional baggage I was carrying that was crushing me. And ultimately it challenged me to heal myself and to find a deeper meaning to life.

Because I chose to walk a natural healing path it meant there was no quick fix, nothing certain and nothing suppressed. Everything had to come out. That’s the nature of detoxification. I had to face the doubt that I would ever recover, and let it go. I had to meet regret, and release it. I had to meet deep anger, and give it its freedom. And of course I had to meet the great fear and make friends with it.

It was a warrior’s undertaking, although I never called it that or thought of it that way.
It utterly humbled me and ultimately it healed something in me. It brought me into a harmony of body, emotion mind and spirit.

And to this day and each day as I grow somewhat older, it keeps reminding me, it keeps teaching me and it definitely keeps me humble in the face of my own (and others) mortality.

Love your body, it is your temple for a while, until your temple becomes the eternal cathedral.

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UNTIL THE YOU DISSOLVES.

You see it
You sense it
You glimpse it
You know it
In your heart
But the living of it
Is the truly hard part

Because of the conditioning
The triggers, the reactivity
The old grooves that cut deep

Don’t make the error
Of thinking something is wrong
Or you haven’t got it yet
Don’t beat yourself up about it

It takes time to cook you
It’s a test of your devotion
A test of your inner resolve
A test of your capacity to endure
And surrender the reactive one
Again and again and again

Until all fantasies of some future state
Dissolve into being simply present with what is
And walking the world in that presence
Even as it seems to slip away
And return again of its own accord

Still you remain
Until even the you dissolves.

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All beings dance
To the same song
Of impermanence.

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Take solace
From remembering
That ultimately
Nothing can touch
The purity and love
At the center of your being
And even though
A storm may rage
There is some divine hand
That holds you
And whispers, ‘It’s ok.’

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Don’t give up on life
Give up on the falseness of life
That has held you spell bound
And made you become
Something you are not
Give up the mask of false protection
And declare yourself torn open
By life’s vicissitudes 
Then live from that open hearted place.

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Don’t worry,
Your devotion to truth
Will attract some
And repel others
Not everyone wants
To tear off the veils
And face themselves.

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I gazed upon the world
With the eyes of love
And saw beauty
Inside the suffering
And unity
Inside the division
There was
A great forgiveness
And healing
In my seeing.

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There is a secret voice
That calls us 
The quieter you get
The more you can hear it
It is the voice of grace
The voice of love
The voice of freedom
Beyond the suffering.

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The deeper you go
The more mystery 
You have to face
Including your own darkness
And the void at the heart of existence.

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There comes a time
When the only choice left
Is the deepest acceptance of yourself
Exactly as you are
What a beautiful homecoming it will be.

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The fruit that has been ripened artificially 
Is not ripe, it is fake ripe

You cannot fast track, side step, or bypass
On the path of awakening
You cannot trick consciousness
You can only fool yourself and others
And there is no true satisfaction in that

Be true, it takes time.

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The garden is waking up
The flowers are stirring 
Spring fever has caught the air
And everything is starting to dance.

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Thanks for reading.