A LITTLE PERSONAL HISTORY

How I moved out of my family home way back in 1977

When I was 16 years old my family life collapsed and ended in a volcanic and destructive meltdown on one auspicious day, after a build up of years.

My mother had a breakdown and ended up in mental hospital unable to function. She never really recovered.
My father left to move in with his affair woman. He carried his guilt for the rest of his life.
My brother found refuge with his girlfriend’s family.
Our dog Rufus was dead a few months earlier.

And I moved into a caravan on a bleak and windswept farm run by a woman called ‘mad Pam,’ owing to the fact that she was a delusional pill freak who was, I guess, out of control.

So was I. So were the other crazy folks I shared the caravan with.

That was the start of my life away from home.

When I think about it from here I laugh and cry at the same time. In many ways it was the perfect beginning.

Here are some poems.

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There are two journeys
First to heal our inherited ancestral burden
Second to realize our true nature beyond all ancestry...
They are interwoven.

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When the exhaustion 
Of trying to be a someone
Finally wears you down
Fall into the emptiness
Of no-one and nothing
It sounds terrifying
But it is really such relief.

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As the shell cracked open
The truth spilled out
All over the place
At first it was terrible
But after the first deluge
And the great drama that accompanied it
It settled down
And became
Delicious in its honesty.

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Love, divest of its conditionality
Is a doorway to the vastness of the universe
And the beauty of the soul
A window to joy
And the profound grief that feeds all life

If you go through it
Your eyes will open
To the depth of life
And purge you 
Of all that stands 
In the way
Of your own vast nakedness.

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Each step is taken
In the light of awareness
Or the distraction of mind
Be awake as the sky
Not lost as the clouds.

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While ego shouts
Desperate for validation
Needing to be important

Wisdom sits quietly
Needing nothing
Content with the silence of being
And the awareness of illusion.

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Come home, come home, beloved
Turn around and come home
There is such a sweetness that awaits you
When you discover that all this searching
Only led you to your own door.

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They were in a beautiful garden
With a beautiful fruit tree
And they ate of that tree
And fell deeply asleep

And while they slept
A dream did come upon them
They believed to be true

And when they awoke
They saw they had never left
That beautiful garden
With that beautiful tree.

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Spirit is of eternity
Body is of time
It’s possible to love both
Without attachment to either.

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There is a quietness you can know
Found by listening
From a softer and softer place
As though you were listening
From falling into eternity.

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I have new music available.
All of this music has been played as spontaneously as possible. The vocal tracks have had a bit of extra work, but as little as possible to keep them true to their essence.

All this music was inspired by what I played at the concert during our beautiful retreat in Utah. I am very happy it touched people, it was a delight to offer it, and a joy to write some new songs especially for the gathering.

It is available in 3 ways.
The whole collection, instrumentals and songs.
Just the songs.
Just the instrumentals.

Thanks for reading. Oh and Happy Christmas to you. May you be well and may you find your own groove.